174 Insightful Questions To Help You Know Yourself Better

Have you ever heard it said that in order to get a good quality answer you need to ask a good quality question?

The tougher the subject, the more challenging it can be to formulate the right questions.

In this article, I discuss questions to help you know yourself better. That’s some serious stuff, but I’m here to help.

It is entirely possible to live your entire life never taking the time to think about who you are at your core and what makes you tick.

Yet, when we take the time to do some soul-searching we can discover aspects of ourselves that we wish to develop and make stronger.

We might also discover parts of ourselves that we want to diminish.

Join me as I explore 174 questions to help you get to really know who you are and start taking a step toward making the most of your life.

Powerful Questions About Your Dream Life

Most of us have a picture in our mind of what we would like our life to be but is that picture what you really, truly want?

Many of us develop an idea of our ideal life when we are in our late teens.

That image usually includes success in a career which translates into making lots of money, living in a big house complete with swimming pool and hot tub, driving a fancy car.

This idea of a dream life may stay the same as you reach adulthood or it may change.

The material desires might fade away, replaced by goals that reflect things like family, simple pleasures shared with those you care about, and good health.

Check out the questions in this list that follows and see what you discover about what you really want out of life.

25 Powerful Questions About Dream Life

1. "What physical things do I desire in my life?"

2. "What am I most grateful for in my daily life?"

3. "What are you willing to sacrifice to get what you want in life?"

4. "What would be worth trying or pursuing, even if I fail?"

5. "In what ways might I be sabotaging myself because I’m afraid of succeeding?"

6. "What can you do today to start building your dream life?"

7. "What relationships in my life feel toxic?"

8. "What do my dreams tell me?"

9. "What’s missing from my life? What can I do to get it?"

10. "In what areas of my life am I underestimating myself?"

11. "What big goal am I secretly wanting to pursue?"

12. "Do you feel like you deserve to have what you want? Do you feel worthy of your dreams and goals?"

13. "Am I making choices in my life from a place of love or fear?"

14. "Does success scare me?"

15. "What is stopping me from pursuing my goal?"

16. "How would your perfect day be from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed?"

17. "What change do you want to make in the world?"

18. "What assumptions am I making about [insert person’s name, a situation, a goal]? How are those assumptions keeping me from what I desire?"

19. "Do I secretly fantasize about running away from my life?"

20. "Which objects, styles, smells, and feelings best describe your ideal life? What does that say about what you want?"

21. "If you keep doing what you’re doing now, where will you be in one year? How does that thought make you feel?"

22. "In your opinion, what does it mean to live a “meaningful” life?"

23. "What’s preventing you from taking action?"

24. "What would my perfect day look and feel like?"

25. "What’s the ideal amount of money you’d like to have in your bank account?"

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Questions About Your Past And Future

To determine what you want out of your life it can be valuable to examine your past and let it inform your future goals.

Our lives are very busy and it can be easy to go from one day to the next without thinking about our present life or our past.

However, it is often by reflecting on major occurrences in our past that we can get to know ourselves better and this, in turn, can open the door to opportunities in our present and future.

In this list you will find questions that will get you exploring your past, your present, and your goals for the future.

20 Questions About Your Past & Future

26. "How do you picture your life 20 years from now? How do you feel about that?"

27. "Are you doing challenging things today that will make your life better in the future? List them."

28. "What mistake or rough time taught you something you’re grateful for today?"

29. "Imagine you’re on your deathbed. What do you regret not doing?"

30. "What do you want to feel proud of in 1 to 3 years?"

31. "Which memory, person, or feeling do you need to let go of?"

32. "What are you doing in the next 6-12 months to become the person you want to be?"

33. "What can you start doing today to make your future self happier and more fulfilled?"

34. "Think about a mistake you made. How did you react? What did you tell yourself? What does that say about you?"

35. "Make a list of all the things you want to be doing in 12 months. You can also include things you want to have and ways in which you’d like to feel a year from now."

36. "If your past self could get a glimpse into the future and see where you are today and what you’re doing, what would she or he say?"

37. "Where does your future self live?"

38. "Why do you think you haven’t let that go yet? Why would it be beneficial to get over it?"

39. "Describe a traumatic or sad past event, and list everything you learned about it."

40. "If you could meet with a version of your past self that was going through a rough patch, what would you tell her or him?"

41. "Which piece of advice would you give your younger self? Where does that advice come from?"

42. "What do you think your future self deserves?"

43. "Describe how you want your life to be when you retire."

44. "Is there something you no longer do that you’d like to do again?"

45. "If you could go back in time, what would you change? How would that affect you today?"

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Deep Questions For Emotional Concern

Many of us are halted in the pursuit of our best life because of an emotional trauma from our past.

We are very good at burying uncomfortable emotional issues so we don’t have to deal with them, but they can be holding us back.

Even emotional concerns that are not of a traumatic nature may keep us from attaining our life goals.

For example, maybe you have trouble with certain social situations. Does envy or  jealousy consume you?

Who are the people in your friend circle? Are they positive people who encourage you or do they make you feel incapable?

What emotionally-related questions should you be asking yourself?

20 Deep Questions For Emotional Concern

46. "When was the last time you felt disappointed or hurt? How did you respond?"

47. "What social situations make you uncomfortable?"

48. "How often do you treat yourself with love and respect?"

49. "What upsets you about other people’s behavior — and what does that say about you?"

50. "What has the fear of failure stopped you from doing?"

51. "Who are you most jealous of and why?"

52. "What regrets do you have about the past and what worries you about the future?"

53. "When you look back at the past month, what was the most joyful moment you experienced?"

54. "How do you typically feel just after waking up and when you go to bed?"

55. "Are your actions mostly guided by love or by fear?"

56. "What demotivates you and what helps you regain motivation after you lose it?"

57. "In what ways are you preventing your own happiness?"

58. "When you can’t sleep at night, what do you usually think about?"

59. "How do you feel when you see yourself in the mirror?"

60. "Has insecurity ever been useful to you? What about overconfidence?"

61. "Do people you surround yourself with lift you up or bring you down?"

62. "Is there someone who hurt you in the past and whom you still need to forgive?"

63. "What is your definition of happiness?"

64. "How comfortable are you talking about your feelings and with whom?"

65. "How do you handle difficult but necessary conversations?"

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Questions About Your Relationships

Relationships can reveal much about ourselves. We have relationships with many different people: co-workers, family, and social friends.

What does each of your relationships tell you about yourself?

We can’t change who our family members are, but if you have a negative relationship with someone in your family and you always come away feeling angry and deflated, examining how you respond to that individual can lead to your feeling more at peace.

What sort of romantic relationships do you have? When I look at my history of romantic relationships I can see that I was always trying to make that person feel better about himself. 

I always gave in to what they wanted to do and I can see that I got taken for granted.

The following questions will help you examine your relationships and can lead you to make some important changes.

20 Questions About Your Relationships

66. "When you meet someone, what makes you instantly like/dislike them? What do you think is the reason behind that?"

67. "How often do you ignore your own feelings and/or what your gut’s trying to tell you?"

68. "What’s something you think you’ll never do? Why?"

69. "What’s the longest you’ve been mad at someone? Would you say you tend to hold grudges for too long?"

70. "How do you behave when you’re dealing with difficult emotions? Do you usually let them bottle up? Or are you good at handling them in a healthy way?"

71. "What makes you feel discouraged?"

72. "How do you feel when you’re in new environments with new people?"

73. "If your relationships with someone else improved, would you feel more at peace with yourself?"

74. "Is there something you often feel that you no longer want to feel?"

75. "How often do you put yourself in other people’s shoes?"

76. "What can you do to improve or keep nurturing your relationships?"

77. "Describe the love partner you think you deserve."

78. "What do you blame your family for?"

79. "How do you express your feelings for people you care about or love? What’s your love language?"

80. "Are you assertive, passive, or aggressive when you’re angry?"

81. "What’s something you’d like to tell a loved one but haven’t found the courage to say?"

82. "How do you feel about your most important relationships?"

83. "Is there something you need to apologize for?"

84. "How do you feel about what you do for a living?"

85. "How do you act when you’re under pressure?"

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Questions To Find Happiness In Yourself

There are so many fantastic questions in the list for this section that I read through them regularly.

I often journal my responses to the questions and map out changes I will make to better the situation. 

These questions are empowering. Focus on a question that addresses how you are feeling or a situation that you are currently dealing with.

Revisit the question a few days or a week later to see if you have been successful in addressing it.

29 Questions To Find Happiness In Yourself

86. "How do I shift my negative mindset into a positive one?"

87. "Who inspires me and why do they inspire me?"

88. "How do I feel at the moment?"

89. "How can I love myself more daily?"

90. "What am I grateful for now? (mention at least 5 things)"

91. "What Do I need to let go off?"

92. "How do I like to relax?"

93. "How can I be more compassionate and kind towards others?"

94. "What are my priorities?"

95. "How Does an Ideal Day look like for me?"

96. "If today was the last day, what would I do?"

97. "What do I fear?"

98. "What actions can I take today to make my life simpler?"

99. "What makes you feel alive?"

100. "Who/What makes me the happiest?"

101. "What good habits can I include in my daily routine? What unhealthy habits do I need to dump?"

102. "What changes can I bring in my daily routine?"

103. "What is missing from my Life and How to Get More of it?"

104. "What are my top qualities? (mention at least 5)"

105. "Do I like the person I am Today? If I had to change something in myself, what will that be? Also, How can I change?"

106. "Where Do I see myself in one year?"

107. "What does happiness mean to you?"

108. "Why am I distracted and how to focus more on important things?"

109. "How do I overcome my setbacks and become a more confident version of myself?"

110. "What are my goals? Did I take any step today to reach my goals?"

111. "What can make me happy right now?"

112. "What are my achievements?"

113. "What makes me upset?"

114. "If I could give one advice to my younger self, what will that be?"

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Questions To Help You Know Your Personality

Being honest with ourselves and truly examining our inner being can be tough, but it is only through this process that we get to who we really are, and this is necessary to being able to become the person we want to be.

Take your time with these questions. Don’t just rattle off simple answers, rather reflect and really think about you, how you act and react, how you speak, the words you choose, and your tone of voice.

These things can say so much about us. I know I can benefit from this kind of self-examination. Sometimes someone will say they thought I was angry with them when I didn’t intend that at all.

We want to be our authentic selves and we want others to see this. 

14 Questions To Help You Know Personality

115. "What parts of your personality do you wish were different?"

116. "What parts of your personality hold you back?"

117. "When was the last time you cried?"

118. "When was the last time you felt loved and respected?"

119. "When was the last time you felt truly happy and alive?"

120. "How do you feel when you have to confront someone?"

121. "What do you think other people admire about you?"

122. "What is your favorite part of your personality?"

123. "When was the last time you laughed really hard?"

124. "Do you consider yourself more of a thinker or a feeler?"

125. "How do you feel when you receive a compliment?"

126. "What is something that has always been true about you?"

127. "What is something that has always been important to you?"

128. "What is the most important thing a person can do in life?"

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Questions To Start A Real Conversation With Yourself

It can be challenging to have a conversation with ourselves, one that gets to the tough stuff and peels back the facade to get to the real person we are.

The questions here can lead you to do this kind of investigation. You don’t need to worry about what to ask, just what the answer is.

Check out these questions and have a real conversation with yourself.

25 Questions To Start A Real Conversation With Yourself

129. "What are you most proud of?"

130. "What is your greatest fear?"

131. "How do other people perceive you?"

132. "What are three things that will instantly put a smile on your face?"

133. "How do you react when you fail?"

134. "What is the meaning of life?"

135. "What lies do you continuously tell those around you?"

136. "Are there people that bring you down, hold you back or fail to bring you joy? Are there ways you can get rid of them or confront them about your displeasures?"

137. "Would you chose to stay or leave a bad relationship or job?"

138. "What would it take for you to feel loved by someone or yourself?"

139. "How doers growing old feel like for you?"

140. "What is your happiest memory?"

141. "What aspects in your life do you worry about?"

142. "What legacy do you want to leave?"

143. "Would you rather spend time alone or with people?"

144. "Who is a person you do not like to spend time with?"

145. "What are you truly passionate about?"

146. "What are you doing here on earth to change humanity for the better?"

147. "If you had to change one thing in your life, what would it be?"

148. "What gifts and talents do you have but hide from others?"

149. "What do you do for fun?What is your proudest accomplishment?"

150. "Do you depend on others to tell you what to do and not to do?"

151. "How would you like to be perceived by others?"

152. "What do you want people to say at your funeral?"

153. "What is your biggest failure in life?"

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Questions To Get To Know Yourself Better

It sounds silly to think that we don’t know ourselves. I mean, we live each day as ourselves so why wouldn’t we know what makes us tick?

We can be really good at not facing things about ourselves that are difficult, uncomfortable, and challenging.

We are also very good at deflecting. We fill our lives with surface stuff like shopping, partying, and all sorts of mundane chores at home and at work.

If you really want to know yourself better, read through and answer some of the questions in the list that follows.

Take this step to knowing yourself better and making a better life for yourself.

21 Questions To Get To Know Better About Yourself

154. "What is my love language?"

155. "Do I allow myself to celebrate my accomplishments?"

156. "What is one problem in the world I want to solve?"

157. "What do I miss most at this point in my life?"

158. "What is the first thing I would do if I won the lottery?"

159. "When was the last time I laughed?"

160. "What is the one compliment that I always want to hear?"

161. "What makes me feel loved?"

162. "What is the one song that always makes me smile when I feel low?"

163. "Do I want to have children?"

164. "Have I ever been in love? What does it feel like?"

165. "What do I hope to leave behind when I die?"

166. "What do I think would make my life easier?"

167. "Am I ashamed of anything in my life?"

168. "What is the best gift I ever received from someone?"

169. "What is one secret I will take to my grave?"

170. "Do I blame my family for anything in my life?"

171. "What is the nicest thing I have ever done for someone else?"

172. "What do I look for in a relationship?"

173. "What is my superpower in life?"

174. "Do I feel guilty when I put my needs over others?"

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Frequently Asked Questions 

What Does It Mean To Know Yourself Better?

Knowing yourself better involves understanding your values, beliefs, strengths, weaknesses, passions, and motivations on a deeper level.

Why Is It Important To Know Yourself Better?

Understanding yourself better enhances self-awareness, decision-making, goal-setting, relationships, and overall well-being.

How Can I Start Knowing Myself Better?

Engage in self-reflection, journaling, mindfulness practices, seeking feedback from others, and exploring your interests, values, and experiences.

Can Knowing Yourself Better Lead To Personal Growth?

Yes, self-awareness is key to personal growth. It allows you to identify areas for improvement, set meaningful goals, and make positive changes in your life.

What Are Some Benefits Of Knowing Yourself Better?

Benefits include improved self-esteem, resilience, emotional intelligence, more fulfilling relationships, and a greater sense of purpose and direction in life.